China: Observations and Comments

China is a strange, yet awesome place. Here are a few things that I've noticed about the world's most populated country.

• When most people think of China, they envision themselves walking down a small and misty alley, being bowed to by monks in rickshaws drawn by shoeless peasants in hats. Well, the alleys and hats are real... But I've seen more monks on GW's campus than in China, and rickshaws are mostly motorized.
• As a foreigner, it's completely normal to be subject to blatant stares and calls of "laowei" (old foreigner). Also, expect to be in about 800 photos by the time you leave.
• Street food > restaurants
• It's impossible to find a bad noodle dish or dumpling.
• The people are incredibly friendly and helpful to Westerners. Those that aren't are just miserable to everyone.
• There's an interesting gap between generations - young people are focused on fashion, and the ideal young man is a "gentle" soul... you won't see many gentle or fashionable older guys, though. Quite the opposite. The fashionable-ness of the Chinese is astounding.
• Most people know, "hello" and "yes," and they think it's applicable in any and every situation.
• Often times, people will walk past you and from about ten feet away they'll turn around and say, "how are you?", "where are you come from?", etc. It's kind of awkward to answer these questions, from such a distance and after such an elapsed time of passing someone.
• Transportation - particularly the roads, signs, metros, trains, and taxis - put every American city and state to shame.
• People wear shirts with hilarious attempts at English... "I never wear underwear," "Mind Jesus," "Today, I'm feeling depressed" (with a winking bear), "Sexuality is,.. flow," and the list goes on and on.
• If you say "Nihao" in response to "hello," it's assumed you speak fluent Chinese.
• Shoes are a big deal. For men, white is in. For women, anything really flashy and bedazzled goes.
• It's totally normal to walk around singing or blasting music from an MP3 player or stereo. How '80s.
• Since being pale is beautiful here, parasols are ubiquitous.
• Hacking and spitting your phlegm anywhere is a thing here.
• Never pay more than 1/3 of the originally quoted price for anything except hostels and trains/buses.
• Cards and gambling are a favorite pasttime of the Chinese.
• The best way to beat the heat is ice cream... and lots of it.
• You can buy anything and everything in China... except deodorant. And men's shoes above US size 9.
• Mao is God. No questions.
• When men get hot, they roll their shirt up halfway to show the world their stomach. Unfortunately for everyone, only overweight men do this. Yum. *Vomit*
• China is so massive, and everything is so worth seeing that it's nearly impossible to really take it all in.
• The only thing Communist about China is the hammer and sickle plastered everywhere. It's more of an authoritarian capitalist socialist hodge podge.
• Since it's the year of the rabbit, there are rabbit and bunny merchandise and decorations EVERYWHERE. You don't even have to look hard to find live ones.
• The Chinese don't really eat weird animals and insects. But they eat every part of the animals you'd see in any American restaurant.
• There's a KFC on almost every block. And at 5AM, their bathrooms become more popular than "Imma let you finish jokes" circa 2009.
• Old Chinese people are the most adorable and intriguing elderly folk this side of the Asteroid Belt. Every wrinkle tells a million stories. Every smile warms your soul.
• 98% of Chinese dogs are little. Chihuahuas, mini-poodles, corgis, and some really ugly squashed face thing being the most common.
• If you think you bought something unique, take five steps down the road and realize that every vendor is selling the same knock-off thing that you just spent too much on. *Cough*Karen*Cough*Pocketwatch*Cough*
• White, blonde girls in China draw similar reactions to a presidential visit to GW.
• If things are going smoothly and according to plan... just wait.
• Climbing holy mountains will make your body scream, "holy sh*t!" So painful. So worth it. Don't take the cable car up.

PS - One year, ten months, and one day says a lot.